


Fandom High School

by crescentStarlight



Category: Doctor Who, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Homestuck, Sherlock (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Fandomstuck, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 11:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentStarlight/pseuds/crescentStarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is HOMESTUCK and you're a fandom at Tumblr High School. You have been BULLIED a lot, but you've managed to get by. Little do you know, things are about to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is inspired by the fandomstuck AU going on in Tumblr. More fandoms (and ships) will be introduced and mentioned as the story continues. This story can also be found on tumblr at: http://crescentstarlight.tumblr.com/post/42407274634/fandom-high-school-chapter-1

**== > Be the super shiny new fandom**

Your name is HOMESTUCK. You’ve gotten into Tumblr High School almost four years ago. You’ve been bullied a lot by some of the more powerful fandoms, but you don’t like thinking about that. Fortunately, you only have to deal with them for a few more months before you leave forever. Your hobbies include WATCHING CONTINUOUSLY FOR UPDATES, THEORIZING, and DRAWING FANART of your SHIPS. You tend to use ==> COMMANDS and EMPHASIZE IMPORTANT WORDS. What will you do?

**== > Find your moirail**

“Homestuck!” 

You turn around to find your MOIRAIL running towards you, side curl bouncing excessively. A big grin stretches across your face as you hold out your arms for a hug. He jumps into your arms and nearly squeezes the breath out of you. You don’t mind though. Hetalia would never hurt you on purpose.

You and Hetalia have somewhat of an odd background. When you were a new fandom, fresh in the first year, you and Hetalia shared a strong rivalry, always getting into shipping wars and fighting with each other. One day, the two of you calmed down and realized that you really had a lot in common. Since that day, you haven’t fought with Hetalia once. You’ve been a friend for him and the two of you protect each other from the Terrible Three, as you have dubbed them. You realized one day that that was exactly what moirails do. After intense debating and a bit of a panic attack when you felt some of your pale ships sinking, you mustered up the courage to ask Hetalia to be your moirail. 

Of course, he had no idea what a moirail was. Only you understand shipping quadrants. After explaining the quadrants in a long, animated manner, complete with playing cards and ~~blood~~ paint drawings, he understood and agreed. He’s the greatest moirail to ever exist. You would explain how the two of you compared to Nepeta and Equius, but you don’t want to get too far into the examples of quadrants (and potentially cause Hetalia heartbreak after he finds out what happens to the best pale ship ever). 

You are pulled back to the present by his side curl tickling your neck as he nuzzles your shoulder. You giggle and say, “Hey, stop that!”

He pulls back with a mischievous smile. He raises his hands and starts wiggling his fingers. You step back and run as he starts chasing you, yelling, “The tickle monster’s gonna get ya!”

In your haste you don’t realize who you crash into until it’s too late. You go toppling to the floor. As you look up, rubbing your head, you freeze and let out a gasp.

Above you stands the scowling Terrible Three.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so enters the Big 3! Disclaimer: this story will switch POVs around a lot, and so there will be some negative talk with fandom bashing by other fandoms (characters). The thoughts and actions of the characters are not my own views. All these fandoms are wonderful. Thank you, and on with the story! Also a dedication to sober-dirk for getting me to finally start writing this!

**== > Be the Terrible Three**

Your name is not the Terrible Three? Why would anyone call you that, you guys are great! 

**== > Be the SuperWhoLockians**

Well, it would be hard to be three people. Choose one!

**== > Be Supernatural**

You are SUPERNATURAL and you don’t talk like this. Nor do you speak in second person! That shit is only for the little demon incarnate that just bumped into you. You abandon this silly form of narration post haste. 

Supernatural glowered down at Homestuck as he rubbed his chest. Damn, his horns were sharp. They should at least be filed down to little nubs, if not completely gone. There are a number of weird fandoms walking around in this school, but Homestuck is the worst of them. Sure some have fursuits on 24/7. There was that one girl with bunny thing on her head that asked everyone, “Do you want to make a contract?” (You swear it’s cursed) There’s the weird loser kids with oddly colored hair that are always singing. 

But Homestuck. Homestuck is the worst fandom. Supernatural was never very comfortable around all that gray skin, candy corn horns, the way he talked to himself… ugh. It sends shivers up his spine and his demon senses. 

Speaking of which, Homestuck has already stood up and is backing away nervously. Hetalia, his freak of a friend (He had heard the term ‘moirail’ used to describe them. He’s sure it’s some evil demon enchantmant), comes up to him.

“Watch where you’re going, horn head!”

He shrinks back in fear. Good, you’re in top demon hunting form today. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you.” Hetalia puts a hand on his shoulder. Before they can react, you pull an emergency shaker of salt out of your inside pocket and throw some at Homestuck. He shrieks and pulls back.

“AHA! Demon, just as I thought!”

Sherlock touched the angel-winged fandom and shook his head a little. Before Supernatural could reply, Hetalia started screaming.

“You threw salt in his eye! Of course it’s going to hurt!”

“It hurts him because he’s evil and he’s a demon child!” Homestuck continues to rub his eyes. 

“You don’t just go and toss food items at people when they hit you!”

“If they’re used in hunting demons then yeah, you can!”

“Well how about you get a taste of this!” Hetalia quickly reaches into his backpack, pulls out and opens a container of pasta, and throws it at the three boys standing there. Supernatural and Doctor Who gasp and manage to get away from most of it, but Sherlock takes the brunt of the noodles and red sauce. Fandoms all around them hush as they wait for their reactions. Sherlock slowly looks down and only says, “My scarf…”

That is when three things happen. Supernatural’s eyes glow as he jumps up and wings burst out of his back. Doctor Who warily raises his sonic screwdriver.

Then a shout of “NO FANDOM FIGHTS IN THE LOBBY!” rings through the hallway. Everyone freezes, then quickly moves out of the way as Mr. Moseby comes through. Supernatural quickly lands and Doctor Who immediately puts the sonic screwdriver away. The vice principal fumes as he stares at the mess. 

“Which one of you started this?”

Hetalia immediately points toward Supernatural, and Supernatural points at Homestuck. Mr. Moseby shakes his head and says, “Detention, after school today. All five of you. Get cleaned up and get to class.”

Supernatural splutters and Doctor Who quietly pulls him away to help Sherlock. Hetalia grabs Homestuck and leads him to the bathrooms. 

“Hey, you alright?” His voice softened from shouting in the hallway. Homestuck nodded and splashed his eyes with water. 

“I’ll be fine. Just a few more months until 4/13, then I won’t have to deal with anyone anymore.” 

Hetalia’s eyes softened as he gave Homestuck a comforting pap between his horns. 

“Don’t say that. There are lots of people here that love you.” Pap on his right cheek.

“No there aren’t.”

“Shhhhh.” One more pap on the other cheek. He sniffles a bit before wrapping his arms around the Italian and resting his head on his shoulder. Hetalia hugs him back, and he knows just what to do to make him feel better.

He holds out his fingers in a sideways V and says, “Pale for you.”

The troll fandom’s blush is barely visible over the grey paint. He smiles a shaky smile, holds out his hand to finish the diamond and says, “Pale for you too.”

Hetalia brightens up. “C’mon, let’s get to class.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we get to hear Doctor Who's POV! Sorry it's kinda short...

Hetalia and Homestuck rushed into the Science classroom just as the bell rang. Mr. Elric gave them a dirty look but said nothing. The pair collapsed into their seats, exhausted. 

Doctor Who watched from the back of the room. He felt kind of bad for Homestuck this morning. Supernatural was quick to anger, and Doctor Who had gotten a face full of salt once. It stung a bit, but he forced himself not to show pain. Supernatural had deemed the Doctor to be worthy of being friends with. 

Doctor Who found that once you got past that hard exterior, Supernatural was really a cool fandom, cool enough that the Doctor thought that he never had an update attack. Although it never happened in public before, the Doctor had seen one of Supernatural's update attacks before.

They had been playing a card game at Doctor Who's house. The timey-wimey fandom was just about to win when Supernatural more or less froze up. The Doctor had taunted him about being scared to lose before he fell over, curled into a ball and started to cry. 

It was terrifying, seeing such a strong fandom fall apart right in front of him. Doctor Who shouted for Sherlock to come help him. When Doctor asked what was wrong, he only repeated, " Cas, no...Sam, Samandriel, why..."

The Doctor was close to panicking. He rubbed Supernatural's back, right between his wings. He seemed to calm down a bit after that. But the angel looked up at him and burst into tears again, this time pulling the Doctor down to sob into his neck. He rested his head on the angel fandom's hair, rubbing between his wings again. By the time Sherlock came in and engulfed the two in a hug, Supernatural had been near falling asleep. It was one of the closest moments the three had shared. 

"...Who. Doctor Who Moffat!"

"Huh? Oh, here!"

A chorus of giggles resonated throughout the room as Mr. Elric shook his head, his blonde braid waving side to side. 

"Were you listening to anything I was saying?"

"...Uh, maybe?" Another round of giggles. He noticed Homestuck covering his smile with his hand. Something stung in his chest, but he ignored it. 

Mr. Elric sighed and said, "You will be paired with Homestuck. Ask him for the details. Hopefully, he listened better than you did. Digimon, you will be paired with Pokemon, Madoka with Sailor Moon..."

Doctor Who looked back at Homestuck to see him whispering with Hetalia. Hetalia was glaring at him with an arm curled protectively around Homestuck. 

Doctor Who wished he could learn more about Homestuck. Since this was his only class without Supernatural, maybe this was his chance. 

**== > Be Hetalia**

You are HETALIA. You have gone into your moirail's way of speaking to say that you DON'T TRUST DOCTOR WHO. AT ALL. 

And if he hurts HOMESTUCK, you will cut him.


	4. Chapter 4

**== > Be Homestuck**

You are HOMESTUCK again. Mr. Elric has just announced a joint project between him and "Mr. Potter" (he says the name of your Advanced History and Philosophy teacher with a shudder. Everyone in the school knows of the magic vs. science fights they get into). You're to theorize about a common theme or element in the fandom of yours and your partner and to incorporate science into it. You were surprised when you got assigned to Doctor Who. As far as you can tell, your fandom is pretty different from Doctor Who. On top of that, Doctor Who has been one of your tormentors. Perhaps not as much as Supernatural, but you still have bad memories of him. Mr. Elric passes out your rubrics (at least now you won't have to explain the project to him) and motions for everyone to join with their partners. 

After giving Hetalia's hand one last squeeze and a reassuring smile, you cautiously walk over to Doctor Who. You sit next to him. Awkward silence fills the air between the two of you. You look back and see Hetalia smiling and chatting with Naruto. 

"So, umm... what's your fandom about?"

Turning back around, you see Doctor Who fiddling with his bow tie. 

_Is he just as nervous as me?_

"Well, these four kids start playing this game that ends up causing the apocalypse and they have to win the game to make a new universe, but there's Jack Noir that messes it up and they have to scratch and there are these trolls..."

You look at him and you're pretty sure you lost him.

"...It's complicated." You say with a sigh. You love your fandom, but it gets so hard to explain!

Apparently his bow tie is as fixed as it's going to get, because Doctor Who starts messing with his fez.

"Do you have anything to do with...time travel?" He asked with a hopeful smile on his face.

Your face lights up. "Yeah! Dave and Aradia are time god tiers, and one of the Doomed Daves went back to help the Alpha Dave. Then there's Lord English who is a time traveling demon and he's destroying everything..." You pause in your excited tirade to see Doctor Who's reaction.

He's smiling. He's smiling and nodding and _he gets it someone finally understands._

"So, it's like a paradox, right?"

"Yeah! That's how most of the kids and the trolls were born. Paradox slime and stuff like that!"

"People being born from paradoxes? Fascinating! How does it work?"

You excitedly start explaining ectobiology and paradox clones, and it soon turns into the scratch and the universe. Doctor Who keeps nodding, his grin growing bigger every second. He sometimes interjects with an opinion, a question, or somehow relating it to himself. The two of you have jumped up and are discussing Bec and the Green Sun when you realize

you haven't felt this excited since Cascade. Nobody, not even Hetalia or AT, has ever made you feel this excited to be yourself.

(In your excitement you don't notice Hetalia looking at you longingly and jealously)

You feel something click inside you. An update. You are ecstatic yet dreading it. Maybe John will save Dirk and Roxy! You hope your dad has put in something nice and happy this time.

...Oh. Oh no. No. No no no no no. Not Jade. Not Jane. Oh no your kids. They're being controlled. Grimbark, Tiaratop, dammit Condesce. Why Dad, oh why did this have to happen now? A shudder passes through you. You vaguely hear Doctor Who asking if you're alright. You are not. You know what's coming. It can't happen, not here, not in front of Doctor Who. You won't have an update attack in front of him and the whole class.

You fail to not have an update attack.

You collapse to the floor and start screaming and crying. You're being torn up inside you can't think is this what Jane feels like oh you can't take it Hetalia where are you Hetalia help me Hetalia Hetalia

**== > Homestuck is unresponsive**

Well of course he would be! After an update of that magnitude, what would you expect?

**== > Let's get some help for Homestuck.**

Yes, let's. 

Doctor Who gasps as Homestuck ends up on the ground, sobbing. He's heard of Homestuck's update attacks before. It's the reason he gets bullied so much. He knows that Supernatural has seen some of them. It's going to be all over the school by the time the day is over. In fact, he's sure some of the other fandoms are already texting their friends in other classes to tell them what's happening. 

In all this confusion, Doctor Who is at a loss for what to do. 

Hetalia whips around at Homestuck's scream.

_Oh no, not again._

He quickly, but calmly, walks over to Homestuck, pushes Doctor Who away and kneels down beside him. The calmer of the two fandoms hugs his moirail and begins with his usual papping routine, shooshing the entire time. Homestuck's grey hands clutch at Hetalia's back. 

Everyone is silent and staring. Hetalia knows that only makes it worse. Despite what everyone thinks, Homestuck isn't completely incoherent during his update attacks. He still notices everyone. Sometimes, in between his sobbing about whatever is happening inside him, he'll start apologizing to everyone around him. Nobody can understand those apologies though, and it kills him inside to hear them go unnoticed. Hetalia looks up at Mr. Elric, silently asking if they could go outside. He nods, and Hetalia quickly picks up Homestuck and carries him out of the room. 

Homestuck only continues to scream and cry once they got outside. Another round of shoosh papping gets him to calm down enough for Hetalia to ask the question, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Jade and Jane are being mind controlled by the Condesce. Dirk is out of the Incipisphere, Jake and Roxy are captured and being pulled over to Derse to the Condesce, and John is still missing. Dammit John we actually need you now, where are you, Starbucks? Maybe Dave and Rose are at the meteor in a dreambubble. Maybe Dirk will get help from them..."

He's gone into his post update mumbles. All the brown haired fandom got was that two of the girls are being mind controlled by one of the big bads. Half the time, he never knows what's going on with Homestuck and his updates. All he could do is hold him and calm him down. Hetalia couldn't really discuss in depth about them, so Homestuck discusses with himself. 

Homestuck was always so embarrassed of his update attacks, but he couldn't help it. Mr. Hussie was often sudden and jarring with his updates. Once the initial panic (that was usually either terrified screaming or gleeful squealing) was over he went into his "post update theorizing session." He mumbles to himself, and if he finds a particularly interesting, surprising, devastating, or hidden piece of information during his speculation, it would sometimes send him back into panic mode. 

He's quieter now. Just a few residual mumbles as he leans back onto you. Hetalia pulls him close and asks, "Better now?"

Homestuck shakes his head. "Everyone was staring. Even Doctor Who. Especially Doctor Who."

"They don't matter. If they make fun of you, I'll handle them."

His eyes fill up with tears again and he buries his face in your chest. You feel warm inside, but ignore it. "What did I ever do to get a moirail like you?"

"You're nice and kind. You're a wonderful fandom and everyone should see past your updates."

Hetalia felt something wet on his chest as Homestuck started crying again. 

"Oh, come on, don't be sad. Look, you'll mess up your makeup."

Homestuck sniffled, pulled back, and pulled his Ben Nye, sealant, and mirror out of his pocket. Hetalia gently took the makeup supplies from Homestuck. One messy afternoon, Homestuck taught Hetalia how to apply his makeup. From then on, whenever Hetalia was around, he would put on Homestuck's makeup. 

A few minutes later, Homestuck's makeup was back in place and sealed. Homestuck smiled. He felt a bit better. The troll fandom sat up, pushed Hetalia's hair back and gently placed a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you Hetalia." 

A shrill bell rang, signaling class to be over. Homestuck quickly stood up and ran into the room to get his and Hetalia's things. 

Hetalia simply sat in stunned silence as the rest of the fandoms started pouring out of the rooms. A strange feeling passed through his chest. Homestuck usually kissed him like that after one of their "feelings jams." Nothing too romantic, palebros forever right?

But lately, something in Hetalia wanted more than just friendship. And it scared him to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this was written after yesterday's update, hence the update attack. To clarify: update attacks are just whenever something new appears in the fandom. Most of the time, the reactions aren't too extreme. Homestuck just has the short end of the stick when it comes to the severity of the attacks. Of course, the reactions are heavily based on what happens on tumblr. 
> 
> Also, shipping will start coming into play! Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Real life interfered. I've got the next chapter in the works right now. This chapter is for all the Sherlock fans! I hope I portrayed your fandom well.
> 
> Also, thank you to [Ronnie](http://www.nepetas.tumblr.com) for his help with editing!

The sounds of lunchtime fill the air as all the fandoms gather in the cafeteria. Sherlock sits in the usual spot he and his friends sit at. He sips his tea calmly as his eyes scan the crowd, watching for his brother. One hand goes up to grip at his (now sauce stained) scarf. 

He hasn't looked down at it since this morning. The red sauce resembles blood too much. That brings up memories of his last "update." The episode from almost three years ago. 

The Reichenbach Fall. His own fall. 

If the entirety of the school thinks that Homestuck's update attacks are bad, they obviously didn't see what happened to him during and after the Fall. 

Sherlock's legacy is a complicated one. His father, Sherlock Holmes Doyle, had become a legend of the fandoms. Though he hasn't gotten anything new in decades, he is still appreciated and referenced every day. Sherlock had a big reputation to live up to. The alpha Sherlock had so many children throughout the years, all with one name. 

Sherlock.

He is among the newest. Sherlock Moffat of the BBC One house. His episodes were few, but long. They left him excited and always on his toes.

Until that final day. He knew it was coming, the final showdown between Sherlock and Moriarty. His brother and Supernatural were there to support the moribund fandom.

They waited and they watched. Sherlock's eyes scanned every single detail. If he lost concentration for even one second, he could have missed one of his hero's brilliantly employed tricks. 

Then the detective fandom's mind stopped. A pit formed in his stomach and a clawed hand reached out to squeeze his heart and throat. He knew something bad was going to happen. Something terrible, deadly.

In a daze, almost without thinking, he stood up. He didn't need to look at the screen. It was still playing in his mind. It wouldn't stop playing until the very last second. His deepest instincts told him to walk, one foot in front of the other, step by step. Just keep walking, an almost magnetic force dragging him up all three flights of stairs leading to the roof of the apartment. He didn't even notice Supernatural and Doctor Who trailing behind him confusedly. 

He kept walking until he stood at the edge. He vaguely registered Supernatural asking if he was okay.

"Turn around and walk back the way you came."

At their surprise, he said, "Just. Do as I ask. Please."

And so it continued. Sherlock became...Sherlock. Playing out the entire scene. He didn't know why, but a strange feeling of despair and need to save his friends drove him to become his characters. Become them all the way down to the last emotion, word, teardrop...

and action. 

Gravity pulled Sherlock off the roof. He knew he was going to be safe. He was Sherlock Holmes after all. 

But he wasn't. He wasn't Sherlock Holmes, the legendary. He was Sherlock Moffat, the fandom who was about to die.

If it weren't for Supernatural, that is. Black feathered wings burst out of his back as he screamed and dove to save his friend. In a few moments, Sherlock was safely back on the roof and wrapped up in Doctor Who and Supernatural's trembling arms.

Sherlock did nothing but watch the rest of the episode in disbelieving silence.

_Sherlock wouldn't do that. It's a trick, it must be. Moriarty was real, he was real. Sherlock is lying, it's a trick, Sherlock is alive. He's alive! He has to be!_

Sherlock looked down at his scarf, his beloved scarf, the one that Supernatural had given him.

It was covered in blood.

Sherlock's ragged screams could be heard throughout the city. He shouted through his sobs to the world, "Sherlock is alive! He's alive!" His fingers gripped at the scarf tightly, wanting the blood out out out it's not real.

(He found out later that his scarf was free of any marks. But his mind was not.)

_Moriarty was real. Sherlock is alive. Moriarty was real. Sherlock is alive._

"Sherlock is alive. Sherlock is alive. Sherlock is alive."

"Sherlock?"

The distracted fandom's head snapped up at Supernatural's worried voice. His wings were out and one curled around Sherlock as he sat down next to him.

"You've been mumbling again." Shit. Ever since The Fall, Sherlock has been prone to delving into his thoughts, whispering about anything and everything, mainly about his hero's state of living. It worried both Doctor Who and Supernatural. He couldn't help it, it just... happened. 

He took in a shuddering breath, sipped his tea, and said, "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine."

Supernatural looked like he wanted to protest, but Doctor Who came running in, a smile plastered on his face.

"Guess what happened in Mr. Elric's class today!"

Then his smile faltered, noticing Supernatual's wing around his shoulders. Sherlock smiled and motioned for his brother to continue. His problems could wait for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A preview: next chapter will involve Doctor Who's POV with Supernatural's commentary. Then we'll get to Mr. Moseby's punishment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is out a lot faster than the last one! Fun fact: as I am posting this it is 2:30 AM. Oh well, you write when inspiration comes.

Doctor Who's day had been going great. Well, it was OK. He had fun talking with Homestuck, until he had an attack. The rest of the time was spent fiddling awkwardly with his clothes. He had left the room before he could see Homestuck again.

To be honest, Homestuck's attack scared him. He had been so happy, then he froze up for a few seconds, then... he just fell apart. But Homestuck wasn't as bad as everyone said he was. Rumors were passed around the school, with words like _always interrupting, crazy,_ and _insane_ always being thrown around. 

They were wrong. Once they got past the initial "i-don't-know-what-to-talk-about" phase, Homestuck was a wonderful and intelligent, if excitable, conversation partner. He had so much to say to Homestuck.

He felt the huge smile on his face grow as he remembered Homestuck's joyful smile and all the theories he had presented.

_Thank you Mr. Elric._

He finally spotted Supernatural's huge wings, alerting him to the location of his friends. He bounded over to them, exclaiming, "You wouldn't believe what happened in Mr. Elric's class today!"

His last word had gotten out before he noticed Sherlock's death grip on both his teacup and scarf, and the protective way a black angel wing was curled around him. 

_Not you too..._

Sherlock knew he knew what happened. Another episode. And not the one he had been waiting three years for. But experience had proven that if Sherlock wanted to talk about anything, he would initiate it. Sherlock's motions meant that he would have to continue. 

"Well, Mr. Elric got us a partner project, and my partner is Homestuck!"

Supernatural visibly cringed. "Oh, poor you. Did you ask if you could switch partners?"

For some reason, that comment irked the Doctor. "No, because I actually talked to Homestuck and got to know him!"

"And what was he? Crazy? Annoying? The demon spawn everyone knows he is?"

Doctor Who stood up abruptly. "No! He's not any of that! He's intelligent, he has amazing ideas, and everyone just writes them off because he has trouble getting them out!"

Supernatural stood up to look Doctor Who in the eyes. "So you know Homestuck do you. Have you seen his attacks? Have you seen him babbling to himself like a lunatic? He is the demon child and evilest of all the fandoms, he's only trying to trick you! Don't associate with him more than necessary, Doctor."

All through this, the Doctor stood in stunned silence. Sherlock gently tugged at Supernatural, trying to get him to stop. The rest of the cafeteria had stopped what they were doing to watch the fight. 

The silence was broken by Doctor Who's fist cracking against Supernatural's cheek. Nobody said a word as the Doctor said in a near-whisper, "You can only talk like that if you actually try and get to know him first. Until then, don't you _dare_ speak about Homestuck that way."

With that, the Doctor turned on his heel and stalked off. He left a stunned Supernatural and Sherlock and a cheering crowd in his wake.

 **== > Homestuck: Hear what Doctor Who said**

What did Doctor Who say? You and Hetalia have your own corner of the roof, sharing with many other anime fandoms. You're sharing your slime pie with Hetalia as his lunch was used as ammunition that morning. He only picks at it though. You wonder what's wrong. He usually thinks slime pies are at least OK. He's talking about the project for Mr. Elric.

"...And no offense to Naruto, but I couldn't stand him. So we talked to Mr. Elric and now he's with Dragonball Z and I'm with Avatar. Not the blue one, the one with the arrow on his head. Hey, you alright?"

You sigh. You just aren't feeling it today. "Yeah, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'll be back in a minute." He nods as you stand up and walk to the roof door. 

You're walking down the hallway when you hear muttering.

"Stupid Supernatural. Now I've got another half hour with Moseby. He's a dumb and doesn't fucking understand. Probably judges all the books by their covers..."

"Uh, Doctor Who?"

You see him turning the corner. Wait, why aren't you running away? With that horrible attack, you have surely pushed Doctor Who away forever. Why did you even let him know you were here? Stupid stupid dumb.

To your extreme surprise, he smiles when he sees you. "Hello Homestuck. You're feeling better now, right?"

You nod shyly. He steps closer to you. 

"That's good."

Silence fills the air. That's it, you've done it. You'll never be friends with Doctor Who now. Stupid darn lousy update attacks. Your eyes are already burning and you turn to escape quickly.

"Wait!"

You stop in your tracks. You hear him run up to you. What does he want?

"Did I do something to upset you? I'm sorry I couldn't help you this morning. I'm usually alright with Sherlock, but it was so different today and wow I should stop talking." 

You giggle. He's got a bit of Dave in him. It's endearing.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I was worried that you thought I was crazy."

There's silence from behind you. You nervously turn around and see Doctor Who's mouth dropped open.

"You're not crazy. Far from it. Don't fucking listen to everyone else, they're wrong."

...Nobody but Hetalia ever told you that before. It's... oh no you're about to cry again. You're being so uncool. You rub at your eyes hastily to try and get rid of the tears. It doesn't work. Doctor Who hands you a tissue . You shakily say, "Thank you."

It's implied that your thanks isn't just for the tissue. It's for his kind words and being accepting.

"You wanna work together for detention cleanup? If you don't mind staying a half hour later, that is. 

"Sure! I'd love to. I have to introduce the First Guardians to you..."

Though today brought a horrible update, you have a feeling that you'll be making a new friend soon. If you haven't already made one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for an emotional roller coaster! Thank you again [Ronnie](http://www.nepetas.tumblr.com) for reviewing this chapter.

"Alright, all five of you, I want this entire floor swept, do it how you will. I _will_ be watching you, so don't cause any trouble." 

With that, Mr. Moseby stalked off. Hetalia quickly grabbed a broom for both him and Homestuck. Homestuck smiled in gratitude. They had three hallways to clean. Hetalia was about to ask Homestuck which way he wanted to go when Doctor Who walked up to them.

"Do you want to take the A wing, Homestuck?" He asked.

"Sure! So a first guardian is..." The troll fandom ran off. Hetalia reached out, about to ask if he could come with them.

 _They look so happy. What if Homestuck doesn't need me anymore? Who am I kidding, of course he doesn't. Doctor Who understands him and can actually talk with him about_ himself. _I'm not nearly as good as a match for Homestuck. He deserves better than me._

_But what am I without Homestuck?_

Hetalia gasped, running in the opposite direction towards the C wing. He barely noticed Sherlock and Supernatural looking at him weirdly and saying "I guess we're taking the B wing."

He was safely within the confines of the hallway and out of earshot from the others before he collapsed and began to cry. 

_I can't even remember when we fought or why. It's been Homestuck and Hetalia for so long, I've forgotten how to be just Hetalia. If Homestuck leaves, he'll have Doctor Who, but who will I have? Nobody, that's who. I'll just be alone._

His tears dripped to the floor as his lonely sobs filled the air.

**== >Homestuck, maybe you should listen to this.**

Listen to who? Speaking of Who, you're about to finish explanating the Green Sun to Doctor Who.

"...And that's why Bec Noir is so powerful. His first guardian powers also got passed onto Jade when she merged with Jadesprite."

You both sweep your brooms together, managing to span the width of the hallway together. All you two have to do is walk. It's a good thing the A hallway is long enough to occupy you guys!

"Fascinating! And her Green Sun powers strengthened her spacey powers, right?"

As much as you love Hetalia, it's great to finally get a conversation partner. Maybe you'll be able to theorize with him! 

"Yeah! It allowed her to propel a ship through the literal fourth wall on a journey to the Alpha session. But once they were past the fourth wall, she didn't have as much of the Green Sun powers because they got further away from it. It took them three years and they just made it there...today." And now you're sad. You don't want to remember today's update.

He obviously sees your distress, because he stops sweeping to look at you. "Oh."

You nod and look at him. He looks like he's thinking about something really hard.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

He actually wants to know what happened this morning. He cares. He _cares_. Maybe.

"Well last night, Jade came in and zapped Spades away-"

"Spades?"

"A couple nights ago I had an attack worse than this one. Super bad stuff. But Spades is Lord English now, and he was about to attack Jake and Jane. But Jade came in and zapped him to the Furthest Ring. 

But then the Condescension used her mind control powers to get Jade under her control. She had Jade zap the tiaratop, which was one of the Batterwitch's products to begin with, onto Jane's head and Jane's under her control too. And then Jade zapped Dirk to the opposite side of the Furthest Ring, and they both got Roxy and Jake and John is nowhere to be found."

You take a deep breath. Doctor Who looks mildly confused, but not as confused as it would have been if you tried explaining to anyone else. 

"So two of your kids are being mind controlled and everyone is in trouble?"

"Yes! And there are references to so many different things! Like one about Little Red Riding Hood. Jane's Little Red Riding Hood and Jade is the big bad wolf. Hm, maybe I should ask Once Upon A Time for how to deal with this... Doctor Who?"

He's dropped his broom and is looking at you incredulously. 

_What did I do wrong this time?_

"You...have a Bad Wolf too?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And you found out this morning."

You nod nervously. Then he grabs you into a huge hug, saying, "You poor child, no wonder you freaked out. Bad Wolves are the worst, you don't even know what they mean and they end up affecting everything. My deepest condolences are with your fandom."

Oh. Not only does he understand you, he _relates_ to you. You've never had someone like this. 

He takes off his fez and puts it on your head. "Y'know why I wear this? Because sometimes, the best way to deal with something sad is to be a little silly."

Giggles start welling up in your throat and for the third time today, you feel a burning behind your eyes. And for the second time, there's a click.

_Not now. No no no, Doctor Who already thinks I'm a freak, I can't have another one in front of him. Dad, just stop torturing me, I'm about to make a friend, why does this always have to happen to me..._

You don't want to look, but no matter what, the update will make itself known to you. You wrench yourself away from Doctor Who just as it comes.

_Oh. Hello Karkat. This is nice. And you have a...crab walkie talkie? And you're talking to Dave like a spy. That... that's really cute. No, it's adorable!_

The water in your eyes overflows as you start giggling. It turns into a full on laugh as you fall to the floor. Doctor Who must think you're insane, but you have a happy update and you (almost) don't care!

You hear him cautiously ask what happened.

"Update Karkat Crab walkie talkie Dave oh God it's happy it's finally happy!"

There's no need for theorizing, no need for freak outs, just silly happiness, just like the fez. You tell him that. You think he'll just run off now, just leave you to your cloud of happy insanity. Instead he sits down beside you and starts laughing with you. You pull out your phone to show him the update. The two of you just sit together and laugh.

It's wonderful.

Once your giggles die down, you place the fez back on his head and say, "Thank you. You've been amazing today."

"No, thank you. I've learned a lot today."

He stands up, then holds out his hand to help you up. You both grab your brooms and begin sweeping again, talking about anything and everything that comes to mind.

You're sure you guys are friends now.

**Error: Non Homestuck character attempting to use interface**

**Error: Only Homestuck and Hetalia are allowed to use the Command feature**

**Error: Doctor Who, you don't speak like this**

_Then I'll speak in first person and say that Homestuck is a wonderful friend. That is all._

**== >Homestuck: Add Doctor Who to List: Accepted People to Use Command Interface**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the note of how updates apply to this universe, the updates will be close to the actual date they are posted. There's a difference of a maximum of a few days, definitely no more than a week. But the updates always end up on the important dates (4/13, 6/12, etc.). That's all!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here it is! I apologize in advance for the brightness of homestuck's text color. I made some edits to the previous chapters, both in formatting and a bit of detail. A few of Hetalia's lines were changed at the end of chapter 5, when he was shooshpapping Homestuck to fit better with the context of this chapter. In the first chapter, Homestuck said he would "graduate" on 4/13. That has been tweaked a bit, and you will see what really happens in this chapter.
> 
> Also coding text colors and formatting is a pain in the butt.

**== > Homestuck: Go Home**

"Bye Doctor!"

You wave as you walk away. Doctor Who's house is in the opposite direction of yours. No matter! You have his chumhandle, and you'll be able to talk later. Not that you haven't talked all afternoon long! You never knew detention could be so fun. By the time you both had finished the A wing, you were already five minutes past your assigned detention time. After checking in with Mr. Moseby the two of you set off for home.

Your house is only a couple minutes away from the school. It's green and white, with the resemblance of your Sburb house. Your door has both your green house symbol and your brother's face symbol painted onto it.

Your family includes your father, Andrew Hussie, and your older brother Problem Sleuth. You were born just after Problem Sleuth...ended.

You sigh, enter through the door, and walk upstairs.

_Dad is probably planning something else. Better not disturb him._

After tossing your backpack into your room, you gently push open the door to the room next to you. The black and white face is painted repeatedly on it.

"Problem Sleuth?"

Your brother is lying on the bed in a huge room full of black and white. You sit next to him on the bed. He hasn't woken up in a few weeks. Maybe he will today.

Problem Sleuth used to be a really big fandom. Your dad told you about the stuff he did, showed you Problem Sleuth's white story book with his symbol plastered on the center of the cover. He had such an interesting story. It was like yours, silly and a little boring at the beginning, but became amazing for the ones who chose to keep reading. 

But when you were born, he was forgotten. In your early days, when you were still doing sylladex shenanigans, you would talk often. He was your only friend then. You would read, listen to music, and he would train you in the art of Strife. He was the best.

But as you progressed, went from Act 1 to 2 to 3 and on and on, he started getting more tired. He didn't stay awake as long. You got more attention, started getting flashes and music and he had to sleep longer. By the time you were at Act 5, he had gone into the Sleep.

The Sleep. The most dreaded thing to happen to a fandom. When you suddenly feel tired and groggy because there aren't that many people in your fandom to keep you going. When, one day, you just lie down and go to sleep, and you never know if you'll wake up or not.

You came home from school one day, right after the John God Tier update. You were about to tell Problem Sleuth about how John had found his Sepulchritude. You burst into his room and there he was. On his bed, still and unmoving. You shook him, again and again, calling for your dad.

He told you Problem Sleuth went into the Sleep while you were at school. He knew it was going to happen soon, so he made sure you had something happy when it happened. It was implied that Problem Sleuth went into the Sleep because a lot of his fans turned to you. It tore you apart. You stayed in Problem Sleuth's room that night, just talking to him, hoping he was listening.

Occasionally, he would wake up. He told you he could hear you talking, and he would remember some of the things you would say. You only wanted to hear him talk, sing, read to you, tell you about his updates, anything and everything. And he would. He would until he fell back asleep.

You are pulled back to the present when he shifts a little. 

"I made a new friend today. Remember when I told you about the Terrible Three? Well Doctor Who and I got paired together for Mr. Elric and Mr. Potter's project. He's really nice and interesting when Supernatural isn't around. And he was with me for my second update, but the first one was horrible..."

\------

You eventually leave Problem Sleuth's room and go back into yours. Your door is painted like the Sburb house. Your walls are decorated with panels and art, everything from the first page to SBAHJ to the individual art from flashes to wonderful fanart of all your characters. 

It's been a long day. Thank goodness your only homework is from Mr. Elric. You log onto your husktop and check Pesterchum. When you add Doctor Who, he is not online. You go to talk to Hetalia.

\-- cementedAbode [CA] started pestering manifoldPopulaces [MP]\--

CA: h1 hetal1a!

MP: hey homestuck~

MP: where were you after detention today? :?

CA: oh 1 was stay1ng w1th the doctor. 

MP: the doctor

MP: does he seriously want you to call him the doctor

CA: well, yeah! that's what everyone calls h1s doctor on h1s show

MP: thats really stupid

MP: doesnt he have a real name

CA: nobody knows! thats what makes 1t 1nterest1ng!

MP: sigh

MP: why did he even have to stay longer

CA: he had extra t1me because of someth1ng w1th supernatural

CA: and 1 got another update today

CA: 1t was a lot happ1er than th1s morn1ng

CA: doctor was there w1th me

CA: 1t was a lot of fun!

CA: 1 th1nk he w1ll be a gr8 fr1end hehe

CA: hetal1a

CA: hetal1a are you there

CA: olly olly oxbeast free

CA: 1 guess youre not

CA: 1ll talk to you later k

CA: bye!

\--cementedAbode [CA] stopped pestering manifoldPopulaces [MP]\--

**== > Hmmm, maybe we should check on Hetalia.**

**ERROR. Hetalia is not allowing outside viewers into his POV.**

**== > Hetalia, are you alright?**

**ERROR. Hetalia is not allowing outside viewers into his POV.**

**== > Hetalia.**

**ERROR. Hetalia is not allowing outside viewers into his POV.**

**== > Hetalia, is this about Homestuck?**

...

You are HETALIA. 

_Drat, they got in._

As you said before, you are HETALIA. It seems that you are being forced to use the Command Interface so the viewers can continue interacting with you.

Today has been an all around horrible day. You just know Doctor Who is going to be everything Homestuck wanted or needed.

**== > You should talk to Homestuck. You always go to your moirail when you have problems!**

_But who do you talk to when your moirail is the problem?_

**== > What do you mean?**

_I mean there's a huge problem here and I can't tell Homestuck!_

**== > It can't be that bad. He'll understand!**

_No he won't._

**== >Yes he will!**

_No._

**== > Yes**

_No._

**== > Yes**

_No no no no no NO. He doesn't understand because he hasn't been in love with his platonic soulmate for weeks, and he'll never understand because he'll never love me like that!_

...

_See, even you've left, and you're just some detached voice that I'm hearing in my mind._

**== > We're still here Hetalia. We'll be here if you need us.**

And you're crying again.

_What do I do now? Homestuck is the best friend I could have asked for. When I got the announcement for my new art style and episodes, I acted like a lunatic, but he stayed and acted like a lunatic with me. It was just the two of us, but now it's not. I don't want to lose Homestuck. I don't want to lose my best friend. I don't want to lose my moirail!_

**== > Oh, Hetalia. Calm down, here's a tissue.**

Your tissue box is suddenly next to you on your bed. Even though there isn't anyone physically there, you feel like someone is giving you a hug.

**== > Listen Hetalia, we know Homestuck still cares about you. He's not going to just leave you because you love him romantically. Just talk to him when you're ready!**

_Thank you, Viewer. Is it alright if I call you Viewer?_

**== > Yeah, no problem! Don't worry Hetalia. You'll get a happy ending.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the first pairing is officially out! I'm sure everyone knows what the other pairing is. Remember, everyone is going to get a happy ending. This doesn't mean Hetalia will necessarily end up with Homestuck. In all honesty, I'm not sure who Homestuck will end up with in the end. I ship both Hetalia and Doctor Who with Homestuck. As he gets closer to making a decision, I will ask for opinions on what the most popular pairing is. 
> 
> I'll have the next chapter up soon! (hopefully)


End file.
